Have Weights, Will Work Out

When I am not doing Cross-Fit at work twice a week, I have to supplement and be active at home.  I bought a yoga mat, not with the intention of doing yoga, but with the intention of not sweating into my apartment's carpet.  But I'd be lying if I said a little yoga wasn't happening here or there.  One of the best investments I have made for my body and health is the purchase of adjustable dumbbells.  Each has enough plates to go up to 52 lbs (which I am nowhere near).

When I work out at home I always try to combine cardio and strength because you will see results fastest by doing both.  My little "gym" consists of my yoga mat, my dumbbells, and my trusty Nalgene bottle with a splash guard.  Good ol' gravity does the rest for me.

Tonight was my home workout night and I did 2 different parts.

Warm-Up:

Invisible jump rope for 2.5 minutes

Part 1: 8 minutes

20 lb dumbbell in each hand

4 reps/minute with the rest of the minute to rest.  8 rounds (minutes) total

Start off by doing a hang clean and then dropping back down into a squat.

(here's a good video to show you if you don't know what a Dumbbell Hang Clean is)

Part 2: 

7 minutes of max reps possible of the round
1 round= 5 burpees+ 10 kettlebell swings (you can use a dumbbell!)

Cool down:
jog in place for 2 minutes and stretch it out

Just because it sounds simple doesn't mean it is easy.  You can DO this!  If I can, you certainly can.  Be strong, be brave, and love yourself!  You got this!!

Making due

Today was filled with laughter, love, and amazing Salvadorian food.  The boyfriend, T, and I are out of town visiting T's parents and tonight we went to his Tio's house for a birthday party.  And when Salvadorian's get together you can guarantee dancing, laughter, loud stories, more dancing, and foooood.  So much food.  Pupusas, curtido, yucca, frijoles, coffee, platano, y mas.  It. is. so. darn. delicious. (below is a picture of a few of the women making pupusas.  Mmmmmmm.

But when you are watching what you eat very, very, very closely and when you are trying to make active change in your life, it makes a person feel guilty for partaking.  So today I worked out three times as hard to justify eating the oh-so-good but oh-so-bad food.  With us being out of town, I didn't have my usual weights and had to settle for using a small guitar amp (15 lbs or so).  Below I jotted down my routine I was going to do.  I pulled up an online stop watch and did the maximum amount of repetitions for the time allotted.  My initial plan was to make it through this and call it good.  When I remembered what was going to be at the party, I decided to do 3 rounds of the circuit.  Ouch?  Ouch.  But YAY!

One of the Tias has been struggling with her weight since her thyroid has gone out (hypothyroidism! uy!) and she said she is struggling because she has been eating healthy and walking the dog after work and she's just not seeing changes.  I had to break it down for her kindly that walking alone will not do it.  Walking is good for you and it is a start in the right direction, but until you put in sweat equity, results will not be drastic.  Drastic results will require drastic actions.  I'm not saying crash diet or go to a boot-camp and then expect to stay that way once you stop doing what you are doing.  What I am saying is find a really healthy, clean, lifestyle to live and live it!  Let it stick.  Let it become your new way of functioning.  You CAN do this.  I can do this.  I still struggle and slip up.  But I am making an active, sweaty effort to change my life and it feels sooooo good.

What are some of the ways you are making an active effort to change your life?  I'll take all ideas- because who Doesn't like to see their life get better??

Relapses and Pushing Forward

Last night I relapsed to carbs and sugars.  And not by a little.  Last night I was working on my homework while the boyfriend was at class.  I decided to treat myself to my favorite frozen pizza.  After looking at the nutritional information, I deemed I could have 1/4 of the pizza and still be within my numbers.  I have also been having one 5 oz glass of red wine each evening.  Last night, I have no idea what kind of carb demon overtook me, I ate the ENTIRE pizza!!!  The whole thing.  Gobbled it up.  And then drank 2.5 glasses of wine!  Was I in some sort of stupor?  How did this happen???

Well, I slept terribly (part guilt and part not feeling well at all) and this morning and alllll day I have felt sick.  Really sick.  After living on veggies, protein, and water, the carb and sugar assault on my body was overkill.  So, bad thing?  My body feels disgusting.  Good thing?  I don't crave pizza and I can't imagine I will for a while!

Today I had my workout after work with my trainer.  Our usual workout area in the warehouse has been filled with product (just unloaded shipments) so we were "forced" into the brilliant SoCal sunshine accompanied by a chilly winter breeze.  Perfect weather to work out in.  We were told to grab a dumb bell we could do quite a few lunges with.  I grabbed a 20 lb.  Not too heavy but certainly a challenge.  We warmed up by jogging a bit and then were told our entire 40 minute workout would consist of lunges.  All. the. way. around. our corporate. building.  Which is HUGE!  The circumference of the building is right at around a half mile.  Absolutely massive.  And lunge we did.  10 forward lunges, turn around and keep doing 10 backward lunges forward around the building.  I couldn't keep up with the other two in my group (both runners).  But I did it.  I made it around my business. Oh, and on every corner were 10 burpees.

I'm proud.  Everyone, I lunged all the way around my office- while feeling sick and under the weather!  It was a very big deal to me.

I got home and did this amazing workout below by Melissa Bender.  The abs were a great touch to my glutes and quads.  After my workout and shower, I made up some stir fried chicken and green beans and broccoli.  A little soy sauce and a little ginger and you have an easy masterpiece.

So here is my challenge!  To anyone who is just starting their fitness journey, it starts with the mental aspect of claiming TODAY is the day I start really working towards I want.  TODAY, not tomorrow, not on Monday so we start to set up the week- TODAY.  Because why wait until tomorrow?  Your dream version of you will come sooner if you start right now.  So start with 10 minute HIIT workouts on youtube.  Work your way up.  Clean your diet up and drink water.  Tons of water!

Do any of you have stories of slip ups and how you got back on track?

My Addiction

I am one of those "goody-two-shoes" kinds of girls.  I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, I am allergic to pot smoke so that is out of the question, I occasionally will have a few glasses of wine or a couple beers, but that is infrequent, and I maintain a pretty well balanced life.  If you were to ask me if I am addicted to anything, last week I would have told you "no way!"  Well, I have recently started my new diet.  And this isn't a fad-diet, it's about eating really cleanly. (excuse the fact it is on a napkin, I wrote it down for someone at a gathering last night and decided to take a picture of it.)

So this is what I am doing. It is a slow process and it is taking a few days to adjust.  I am still trying to figure out how to get 136g protein in my life on the daily.  Today I will buy an excellent protein powder which was recommended to me by a fitness coach.  In the past few weeks doing just the cross fit twice a week, I have gone from 170 down to 165.  I don't see where the weight has been lost but I gladly accept the change in number!!

Back to addiction, I am, for sure, addicted to sugar and carbs.  I am going through withdrawal and feel weird... I cannot wait for the withdrawal period to be over.  But despite my weird feelings, when I am not craving cookies or bread or french fries, I actually feel pretty energized and good!  I am excited to see how much this helps.  I will also be starting HIIT training in between my cross fit days at work and I cannot.  My life is changing and I am so motivated.  Last night I did slip up and ate the piece of toast that came with my chicken salad, but today I am back on track and will stick to the plan.  Ready to make waves, people!  I'm ready to make waves.  

NO EXCUSES

From Tues, Feb 17

NO EXCUSES!  No excuses.  When you want something you push hard for it.  No excuses.  Ever since I was a little girl my wise father told me

Pain is part of the mind and the mind can be controlled."

Dad, thank you for these words.  People, be in control of your bodies and your mind.  You can do this- whatever "this" is.  Go, go, go!  No excuses!

Today, I have a migraine from my tumor, I have a stomach ache from being too exhausted(slept terribly), but I went to my workout and I worked my toooooshy off.  I hurt so badly I want to cry.  No excuses.  Some people want fame, some want fortune, I want good health.  And getting back to a healthy, strong body is what it will take.  so NO excuses.

Be amazing, push forward, and make your life the way you want it to be.  No excuses.  

Feeling Proud

I wrote this and never published it.  Written on January 24

I woke up this morning, every muscle hurts. I am craving cheese and carbs and I don't want to do anything today.  But I am proud.  I work for a very wonderful company and while the work I do is entry level and there is no room for growth with the company without a degree, I really do love the company.  The beautiful company I work for?  LD Products Ink. (Shameless plug: www.ldproducts.com for all your office supply needs including craaazy affordable ink and toner products for nearly every printer on the market.  Also, our customer service is top notch and we have a 2 year warranty on our products.)

One of the reasons I love LD is because they know how to take care of their customers as well as their employees.  Even though I am entry level, I still have loads of perks for working there.  Every year they throw a "Retreat" day and we go and bond as a company with different departments.  We play at the beach, have a catered lunch and dinner, get free shirts, water bottles, and such and we get paid to do it!  We have a gym available to all employees and a huge break room with tvs, refrigerators, vending machines, freezers, microwaves and even plates, mugs, and coffee for use.  Lastly, this year they implemented a fitness program for employees.  For only $20/mo we have access to personal trainers on Tues and Thurs who run us through a Cross Fit class after work.

Let's rewind now.  I moved to CA back in 2012 for love (and it has worked out fabulously!!)  Since moving down and being with my boyfriend and allll the amazing, good food there is down here, I have put on 38 lbs.  38.  38!!  That's a lot of weight.  I went from being 132 to 170.  I hate the way my body looks but more importantly I hate the way my body feels.

On Thursdays I take a pill for my brain tumor and on pill days I usually get migraines, I am cranky, lethargic, and generally want to hibernate until Friday or even Saturday.  One of my coworkers who is very fit mentioned he was going to the gym after work.  I said I didn't feel well so I may just go use an elliptical in our gym at work.  and then he told me

"J.  The ellipitcal isn't going to do shit and you know it.

If you are serious about changing your life, go to the class tonight."

We both got silent.  That was real talk right there.  It hit me hard.  It sucked to hear that.  He was so freaking right!  Ugh.  So I went.

I clocked out, put on some clothes, and went to the class; migraine and all.  And work out I did.  For a 170 lb woman who hasn't worked out hard in almost two years, I did a 21-15-9 series of burpees and weighted squats.  21 burpees, 21 weighted squats, 15 burpees, 15 weighted squats and so forth.  I was only using 10 lb dumb bells in each hand- the other man working out with me?  35 lb dumb bells.

I have what I like to call a "pizza addiction."  I crave it all hours of the day.  But after that workout, all I wanted was chicken, salad, and more water.  My body craved healthy food!  Friday I could barely move.  I made it through work and I did slip up last night and make myself a small 8 in. personal pizza (cheeseless though!), today I will get back on track.  Today, Saturday, my muscles still hurt.  But alas, I will be working out today to get the acid moving in my body and to keep my strength building.  I am proud of what I put my body through.  I am proud I made it through that series! That's a lot of burpees!!  I am proud.  2015 is my year.  I am proud.

Prolactinoma history

I mentioned I would go into talking about my prolactinoma so I would like to do that today.
Every 18 year old has stressors.  Most have to do with boys, the future, college, work, family, and friends moving to new schools.  And don't get me wrong, I also dealt with all of those, but when I was 18 I was hit with a different whammo.  Tumor.

Rewind:
I hated high school.  Abhorred it, actually.  It was a terrible place filled with back stabbing friends, immature boys, and people who really didn't see the value in education.  I just wanted out of there.  I hated it so much I would get migraines, feel extremely nauseous, feel dizzy, feel exhausted all the the time, and I even dealt with some pretty rough depression.  During this time I was also doing ShotoKan Karate 2-3 times a week and considered myself quite active.  So when my periods started to get lighter and lighter around my sophomore year and when they were completely gone my junior year, I attributed it to the extreme amount of stress and activity I was under the influence of.
And then?
And then that glorious day of graduation came.  Early in the spring I had finally achieved the rank of Black Belt in ShotoKan karate.  It was a 10 year battle and I was so proud.  My physical activity dropped off as I took a break after I got my black- when my periods didn't return I didn't worry too much.  I figured after graduation my body would bounce back.  So there it was, graduation day.  I wore my black belt around my neck over my robe at graduation and I literally skipped back down the aisle after it was all over.  That summer was my summer of freedom.  I was finally done with hell.

Physical activity= minimal. Stress= non-existent. Bring on the healthy body.  But that summer didn't go the way I had planned.  Instead of feeling better, I kept feeling worse and worse.  I was nauseous nearly all the time I was awake, I would get extreme bouts of dizziness that made things like driving scary.  The bouts would last 15 seconds at the longest but you only need 3 to crash a car. It got to the point where I was so exhausted that going to the grocery store with my mom was my outing for the day.  After that I would need to go home and take a long nap to recharge.  Finally when August rolled around, I told my mom and dad that before I start college in a few weeks, I wanted to get some blood work done just to rule things out.  I wanted to get my health on track before school.

Blood work:
Did some hormone panels and what came back was confusing.  The doctor thought for sure there was a lab error.  I looked like a girl, I had boobs, long hair, no facial hair- but the results came back with absolutely no estrogen or progesterone. None.  Too low to be detected by the tests.  My amazing (truly amazing) general practitioner ordered a redo of the tests but this time thought to add Prolactin to the test just to see what that is doing.  Results came back.  Once again, absolutely no estrogen, no progesterone, and my prolactin was at 150.  For a non-pregnant female prolactin should be anywhere from 2-25ish.  As soon as the Dr. saw that she told us we needed to go on over to the hospital and get a brain MRI.  She said that she was suspicious something might be up with my pituitary but left it at that.
So there I am, 18.  Now the Monday before I start college getting a brain MRI (school started on a Wed).  The hospital I went is very old and the technology is very outdated in my little hometown.  The machines, while they do their job, are old and slow.  I laid in that tube for an hour and 35 minutes trying to keep completely still with the loud magnets ka-chunking around my head in the tube.  The radiologist was out that day so I wouldn't get my results until Friday.

And then it happened.  Phone call.  "We would like you to come in as soon as you can- today if possible to discuss your results." I knew right then and there it was bad.  And it was, but not as bad as I imagined.

So there I was, first Friday of college being told to my face I have a type of pituitary tumor called a Prolactinoma.  I named him Pituitary Larry (Larry for short) to add comedy to the situation to help myself.  A benign tumor, almost always treatable with medication, They referred me to a specialist in Portland, OR and I would need to go down there to get treatment.  No one in my town had dealt with it before so they wanted to give me the best care possible.  And if a 7 hour drive meant good care, that's what it would take.  I couldn't get into Oregon Health and Sciences University (OHSU) until late September and over that one month my health was the worst it ever got.  I would sleep upwards of 12 or 13 hours a day.  Basically, when I wasn't in class on campus, I was asleep.  No matter how little I ate, I was still gaining weight, and I had the lovely joy of beginning to lactate.  And as a virgin, lactating is super scary.  You know there's NO way you can be pregnant and yet you could still totally nurse a little baby.  My breasts hurt, my body ached- every day dragging myself to class was miserable.  When I finally arrived and was seen by my new doctor 7 hours from home and we did blood draws- my prolactin (in one month!) had shot up to 480.  That is 19 times the amount of prolactin I should have in my body.  We also did another MRI and this picture's resolution was much better so they could actually measure it.  I was diagnosed with a 1.5x1.7 cm macroprolactinoma.  If you look at a ruler, 1.5 or 1.7 cm doesn't seem very big.  But when you think about how little spare room there is in a brain, that's a very big spot.  

I was told there were two treatment methods: surgery and meds.  They nearly always try to treat with meds first as the meds work so darn well for this kind of tumor.  I could pick Bromocriptine- a drug that has been around for a very long time, is highly successful, and you take it very day with pretty noticible side effects.  Or I could pick Cabergoline (Dostinex) which is newer, you take it once to twice a week, and while the side effects are much stronger the day you take the pill, the rest of the non-pill days you don't feel the side effects.  I opted for the Cabergoline.  Why feel somewhat sick every day when I could feel really sick only twice a week?

The meds are hard on a body.  They suggested I take the pill right before I go to sleep so the first 12 hours or so which are some of the hardest, you are asleep for those.  The day after I take my pill I call my pill-days.  Pill days suck.  A lot.  My body really doesn't like the medication.  I just kept reminding myself that my body feels terrible because the meds are attacking the tumor.  That helped me a little, but man oh man did I feel sick.  When I first started out I was on a full pill twice a week.  My body would feel so sick, so weak, so exhausted, and I was irritable, still dizzy, and just overall not very fun to be around.

In December I did another MRI and apparently, I turned out to be a poster child for the drug.  I was even asked if they could use my before and after MRIs to show other patients.  My tumor had shrunk drastically.  I was down to .9x1.0 cm!  So we decided to stay on the meds.

Earlier this year, in February 2014 I did another MRI and guess what!?!??!  NO VISIBLE TUMOR TISSUE!!!!!!!!  Prolactin has been normal since summer of 2013 but YAY! No TISSUE!  So we decided to cut my meds back. I made the official announcement to everyone that I was tumor free.  We even cut me down to a maintenance dose to 1/2 pill once a week.  In 2012 I was put on 1/2 pill twice a week- and let me tell you, the side effects from 1 pill twice a week to 1/2 pill twice a week?!?  SUCH A HUGE DIFFERENCE.  For real.  Seriously.  For all of you who are on a high dose still- have faith. As soon as you can get your dosage down you will feel so much better.  1/2 pill twice a week still sucks compared to nothing.  Pill days are still bad, but not nearly as bad.  I have good ones and bad ones but for the most part, it's tolerable.

As I was saying, he dropped me down to 1/2 pill once a week.  I was feeling great, feeling great, feeling great... and then all of a sudden, feeling not so great.  My breasts started to grow again and get very tender.  I was putting on weight and feeling tired again...  At this point I had had a boyfriend for over a year and so I thought perhaps I was pregnant?  I took probably 10 tests over the course of 2 months and all were negative.  I finally went back to the doc when I realized I was lactating agian.  Larry was back.  So back up to 1/2 pill twice a week.  Which finds me here.  Still on a half pill. I take Cabergoline Saturday nights and Wednesday nights so that at least one of my pill days is on a lounge-around day.  I'm dreading taking my pill tonight... I always do.  But I know it's helping me get better.  And recently the cost of my meds went down! YAY!  so I don't hate taking it as much.

I'm sure I will think of more to mention later, but that's the gist.  So now that we are all caught up with my brain, we can move on to my real journey to health and how my goal is to lose 32 lbs.

Keep truckin away!